www.1000fr.com present
SO WHEN'S HE GOING TO BE READY, ALBERT?
HE'S PICKING UP THE BANK DRAFT LATER TODAY
AND WE'RE GOING TO MEET HIM AT HIS HOTEL
TOMORROW MORNING AT 10:30.
GREAT... ASH.
YEAH WE'RE SET, WE JUST HAVE TO PICK PEYTON UP ON THE WAY.
NO LOOSE ENDS?
AH, CAN I ASK SOMETHING?
AH, IF HE'S DOING THE PICKUP TODAY, YEAH,
WHY ARE WE WAITING TILL TOMORROW?
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE ARRANGED WITH HIM.
YEAH, BUT ME, I MEAN THAT'S JUST MORE TIME
FOR THINGS TO GO WRONG, ISN'T IT?
OKAY, LISTEN UP GANG THIS IS WHAT I PROPOSE.
ALL RIGHT GIVE HIM A CALL, SAY THERE'S BEEN A CHANGE
OF PLAN, WE DO THE PICK UP... TODAY.
WE DON'T DEVIATE FROM THE PLAN, MAKES
THE MARK SUSPICIOUS.
YEAH, HAVE A WORD, MATE THIS BLOKE,
TURN IT OUT, GAGGING TO GIVE US SOME MONEY.
AND HE WILL, TOMORROW.
SO THAT'S IT, IS I END OF DISCUSSION?
YES, DANNY COME ON WE'VE GOT A DAY OFF.
RELAX.
(sighs)
(Albert humming)
CARDS ANYONE?
A PICNIC?
IT'S SUNNY OUTSIDE.
NO-NO-NO, DON'T DO SUN.
DICE?
(Ash) WE HAVEN'T GOT ANY DICE.
I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE SOME--
HAPPEN TO HAVE SOME WITH ME.
YOU'RE INCORRIGIBLE, ALBIE.
THANK YOU, MY DEAR.
A DRINK.
MMM... FROZEN MARGARITA'S.
NO ICE.
NO ICE?
THE ICE MACHINE MADE THIS STRANGE KIND
OF GUR-GUR-GURGLING SOUND AND IT WENT...
AND DIED.
(Mickey) OKAY, THE ICE MACHINE.
YEP, BY THE TIME I FIX IT, IT WILL STILL BE A HALF HOUR
BEFORE WE GET ANY ICE.
SHOP ON THE CORNER SELLS BAGS.
OH, OKAY COME ON, THEN.
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE LONDON WHEN THE SUN COMES UP?
DO YOU THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE?
NO.
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
NO.
ONLY UNLESS I'M MISSING SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEEM
TO GET MUCH IN THE WAY OF FEMALE COMPANY.
I DO ALL RIGHT.
WHEN? WHEN I'M AS FAR AWAY FROM YOU AS POSSIBLE.
OH, THAT MAKES SENSE.
I MEAN THEY AIN'T GOING TO WANT TO SHAG YOU,
ONCE THEY SEE ME, ARE THEY?
SHUT UP, DANNY.
SO WHAT YOU RECKON THEN ON AN AVERAGE, ONCE A MONTH?
TWICE?
IS THERE A POINT TO THIS?
NO, JUST MAKING CONVERSATION.
YOU SEE I GET LOADS.
YEAH WELL... YOU GET LOADS CAUSE YOU'RE NOT
AS CHOOSY AS I AM.
HEY MATE, IT'S ALL THE SAME WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE OUT.
YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT, DON'T YOU.
ALL RIGHT-ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A BIRD THEN?
WITS, ELEGANCE, FEMININITY.
ME TOO, AND IF THEY'VE GOT A HUMONGOUS PAIR OF JUGS...
BINGO.
IS THAT HOW YOU SEE WOMEN, AS SEX OBJECTS?
NO, I MEAN YOU KNOW IF THEY LIKE FOOTBALL OR LIKE
CAN IRON A SHIRT AS WELL, THAT IS ALWAYS A--
OKAY-OKAY, I HAVE TO WALK WITH YOU BUT I DO NOT
HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU.
SUIT YOURSELF.
ALL I'M SAYING IS, I'M OBVIOUSLY MORE ATTRACTIVE
TO THE OPPOSITE SEX.
FINE.
SO YOU AGREE WITH ME? IF IT WILL SHUT YOU UP, YES.
I MEAN, I MAY NOT BE THE MOST ATTRACTIVE BLOKE
IN THE WORLD.
I'LL GRANT YOU THAT.
BUT WHAT I'VE GOT IS TWINKLE.
TWINKLE?
YEAH... DID YOU KNOW THAT PEOPLE MAKE UP THEIR MIND
ON YOU BASED ON WHAT THEY SEE IF THE FIRST TWO SECONDS.
YES, OF COURSE.
SO THEY SEE MY TWINKLE AND BOSH.
THAT'S THE DANNY BLUE METHOD OF ATTRACTING
THE OPPOSITE SEX IS IT?
TWINKLE, BOSH.
WORKS FOR ME.
NO DANNY, YOU WORK STRICTLY ON THE LAW OF AVERAGES.
WHICH STATES THAT IF YOU ASK A 100 WOMEN
TO SLEEP WITH YOU, THE PROBABILITY IS THAT YOU
WILL GET LAID 3.7 TIMES.
THANK GOD FOR THE .7 ON SUNDAY.
YEAH, I REST MY CASE.
SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING THEN?
WHAT I SAID A HALF HOUR AGO, I'M SIMPLY CHOOSIER
THAN YOU ARE.
YOU MEAN YOU AIN'T GETTING ANY.
I WILL NOT DISCUSS MY SEX LIFE WITH YOU.
THAT'S CAUSE YOU AIN'T GETTING ANY.
NO DANNY, IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE A LITTLE MORE
RESPECT FOR WOMEN I SPEND TIME WITH.
BET I GOT A BIGGER WILLIE THAN YOU.
HAH, LISTEN, I'M TELLING YOU MATE.
YOU WOULD NOT WANT IT AS A WART ON THE END OF A NOSE.
(Mickey) PLEASE... LET THIS DAY END.
AND ACTUALLY MICKEY, IT'S NOT 3.7 TIMES.
WHAT?
NAH YOU SEE, CAUSE THAT'S NOT EVEN 4%.
WHATEVER.
MORE LIKE 90%...
IF YOU SAY SO.
AND THE OTHER TEN ARE LESBIANS.
OH GOD.
WHAT ARE YOU TWO BICKERING ABOUT?
THE USUAL.
HE WON'T TELL THE TRUTH THAT'S ALL.
YEAH, DANNY'S VERSION OF THE TRUTH IS A WORLD AWAY
FROM EVERYONE ELSE'S.
AH, WHATEVER.
OF COURSE YOU KNOW WHAT THESE DISAGREEMENTS
ARE REALLY ABOUT, HMM?
A CURSE.
TO EVERY GRIFTER'S CREW I'VE EVER MET.
OH, WHAT'S THAT?
HAPPENS THROUGHOUT NATURE.
YOU HAVE A LEADER, AND THEN THE YOUNG BUCKS
COME ALONG AND MAKE THE CHALLENGE.
YEAH, MICKEY'S OUR LEADER, THAT'S UNDERSTOOD.
AH, HELLO, DID I MISS THE VOTE.
WE DON'T NEED A VOTE.
OF COURSE, IN THE YOUNG DAYS THESE THINGS WERE SETTLED.
ORDER WAS RESTORED WITHIN THE CREW.
SO IT DIDN'T EFFECT THE CON.
WHAT LIKE A DUEL, PISTOLS AT DAWN SORT OF THING?
(Albert) OH MY, YES.
I ALL UP FOR THAT.
(Albert) IF THE TOP GRIFTER'S AUTHORITY WAS CHALLENGED
BY SOMEONE IN THE CREW THERE WAS A TEST.
WHAT KIND OF TEST?
THE HENDERSON CHALLENGE.
(Mickey) THE HENDERSON CHALLENGE,
YOU NEVER MENTIONED THIS BEFORE.
NEVER CAME UP.
SO WHAT IT IS EXACTLY?
IN THE '20's AND '30's IN NEW YORK THERE WAS
A LONG CON PLAYER CALLED, CHARLES HENDERSON.
LEGEND HAS IT HE MET UP WITH A SHORT CON PLAYER,
SIMON DEVLIN.
WHILE HENDERSON TOOK HIM UNDER HIS WING AND THEY
BEGAN WORKING TOGETHER AND THAT'S WHEN IT STARTED.
(Mickey) WHAT STARTED?
THEY BEGAN WHO WAS ARGUING ABOUT WHO WAS
THE BETTER GRIFTER.
SO HENDERSON ISSUED A CHALLENGE.
(Mickey) WHICH WAS?
THE TRUEST TEST OF A GRIFTER'S SKILL.
THEY WERE BOTH DROPPED OFF IN THE MIDDLE
OF NEW YORK AT NOON.
NAKED.
WHAT?
(Stacie) NAKED?
AS THE DAY THEY WERE BORN.
HENDERSON AND DEVLIN AGREED TO MEET THAT VERY EVENING
AT 6:00 P.M. TO COMPARE SPOILS
AND SEE WHO HAD ACCUMULATED THE MOST.
THAT'S BRILLIANT, THAT'S BRILLIANT, LET'S DO IT.
(all laughing)
OH GOD, HE'S SERIOUS.
WELL WHY NOT, IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR HENDERSON
AND THINGAMAJIG, SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR US,
SHOULDN'T IT?
BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO PROVE WHO'S THE BETTER GRIFTER
EVERYBODY ALL READY KNOWS THAT.
LISTEN MICK, YOU MIGHT BE GOOD AT ALL THE LAADY-DAADY,
COMPLICATED, HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE, WHAT'S GOING ON TILL
THE VERY END STUFF, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO OUT
THERE, DOWN ON THE STREETS.
FLYING BY THE SEAT OF YOUR PANTS, WHO CAN GET
THE MOST MONEY IN THE QUICKEST TIME.
MATE, I'VE GOT YOU BEAT HANDS DOWN.
IN YOUR DREAMS.
COME ON, I'M ISSUING YOU A CHALLENGE.
YOU AND ME.
YOU CAN'T LEAD YOUR OWN CREW.
WHY NOT? BECAUSE YOU'RE IMMATURE, IRRESPONSIBLE, RECKLESS,
EMPTY-HEADED AND IMPULSIVE.
BUT APART FROM ALL THAT, I'M READY.
FORGET IT DANNY, IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
(Albert) OF COURSE, HENDERSON KNEW THIS WAS THE TRUE TEST
OF A LEADER, TO PROVE THAT HIS POSITION
WAS WARRANTED.
WAIT.. YOU'RE SAYING I SHOULD DO THIS.
NO, I'M JUST SAYING WHY HENDERSON ISSUED
THE CHALLENGE.
WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF YOU?
DO I HAVE TO PROVE MYSELF TO YOU, TOO?
(Danny) UH, SEE... EVEN THEY KNOW I'VE GOT YOU BEAT.
OKAY...
WHEN DO WE START?
YOU HAVE ONE HOUR UNTIL NOON.
I'M GONNA BEAT HIM.
(Albert) ALL RIGHT, THE RULES.
YOU'LL BOTH BE DROPPED OFF TOGETHER.
(Stacey) IN THE NUDE.
YOU HAVE TO BE BACK HERE BY 6:00.
WHO EVER SHOWS THE BIGGEST GAIN, WINS.
(Danny) WHO COUNTS?
I DO, I ESTIMATE THE PRICE OF JEWELRY, CLOTHING
AND THE LIKE ACCORDING TO...
CAN WE USE ANYONE ELSE?
YES, BUT YOU CAN ONLY PHONE IN FOR HELP WHEN
YOU'RE READY TO WORK THE CON AND THEY CAN ONLY
ASSIST YOU, THEY CANNOT INITIATE OR SUGGEST CONS
OF THEIR OWN.
QUESTIONS?
WELL, TEAM IT LOOKS LIKE BY 6:00 YOU'LL HAVE A NEW LEADER.
I DOUBT THAT.
OH, WE'LL SEE.
GENTLEMEN, LET BATTLE COMMENCE.
ANYONE GOT A CAMERA?
(laughing)
(Danny) READY, WHERE ARE WE?
DON'T WORRY, I FOUND YOU A NICE QUIET LITTLE SPOT.
GENTLEMEN YOU HAVE SIX HOURS.
THREE, TWO, ONE... GO.
(laughing)
(whistling)
HOLD IT, HOLD HER, MATE.
HOLD UP.
G O-GO-GO!
WHERE TO?
ANYWHERE, JUST GO, OLD MAN'S COMING
HE'S GOT A BASEBALL BAT.
JUST CAUGHT US IN BED.
GO, SON, GO... KEEP GOING, HE'S COMING!
THEY'RE ONLY ME GARDENING CLOTHES...
THAT'LL DO JUST THE JOB, MATE.
BIG BLOKE WAS HE?
WHO?
THE BIRD'S HUSBAND.
OH MASSIVE, SIX F00T, NEARLY SEVEN KILO.
LISTEN YOU TAKE THAT...
HAVE YOU GOT A CARD, I'LL GET YOUR STUFF BACK TO YA.
OH NO WORRIES, SOMETHING TO TELL THE LADS LATER.
ALL RIGHT, MATE, MADCAP STORIES, EH?
USUALLY HAVE TO MAKE THEM UP.
VERY LUCKY, SON.
MATE-MATE, PIGEONS GOT YA.
IT'S ON YOUR BACK... LOOK.
OH, BULLOCKS,
600 QUID SUIT.
TAKE IT OFF-TAKE IT OFF.
MY MOM'S REALLY GOOD WITH THIS STUFF... ALL YOU NEED
TO DO IS YOU RUN IT UNDER A COLD WATER TAP FOR ABOUT
TEN SECONDS AND IT SHOULD BE AS GOOD AS NEW.
PROMISE YOU GOOD AS NEW.
LOOK, THERE, LOOK, CAF?AROUND THE CORNER.
GO ON GO-GO, SUPPOSE TO BE LUCKY.
CAN I HAVE A PIECE OF CHALK, MATE?
DO YOU MIND TELLING ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING?
GOOD MORNING TO YOU, SIR.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO MOVE MORE THAN TWO
OR THREE TABLES, I'M GONNA WORK ALL AROUND YA.
WHAT? DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT ME, SIR.
I'LL HAVE THIS DONE IN TWO OR THREE HOURS JUST
AS SOON AS THE DRILL GETS HERE, MIND YOU A CUP OF
TEA WOULDN'T GO AMISS.
HEY...
RIGHT WE'LL GO DOWN TWO OR THREE FEET.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO SHEET UP A LITTLE BIT, THE OLD DRILL
GETS A BIT DUSTY YOU SEE.
YOU CAN'T DRILL HERE, I'VE GOT PEOPLE EATING.
HEY, I'LL BE AS QUIET AS A MOUSE, SIR.
WELL A BIG MOUSE THE SIZE OF AN ELEPHANT WITH GIANT...
AND LET PEOPLE KNOW NOT TO HAVE THE SOUP,
THERE'S NOTHING WORSE THAN CRUD IN YOUR SOUP.
YOU GOT STUFF IN YOUR TEETH, YOU KNOW.
DID YOU NOT GET THE LETTER?
I GOT A COPY OF IT HERE SOMEWHERE.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT I LEFT IT IN THE VAN, I'LL FETCH
IT WHEN LADS GET HERE.
NO, I DIDN'T GET ANY LETTER.
AH, THE POST AIN'T HERE, HORRENDOUS IT IS.
YOU KNOW, I SENT MY BROTHER A BIRTHDAY CARD THREE
YEARS AGO, HE'S STILL NOT GOT IT, UNBELIEVABLE.
NOW IF YOU GIVE US A HAND.
I'M GOING TO START HERE SO WE'LL GET THIS OUT...
NOW LOOK, JUST EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU'RE HERE
AND WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
WHOLE LOT OF STUFF...
MORE POUNDS THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A STICK AT.
YOU KNOW FROM HERE TO THE NORTH CIRCULAR.
AND THE PLANS SAY THERE'S TWO ACCESS POINTS, YOU GOT
ONE HERE AND THE OTHER AROUND THE CORNER, THERE.
CAN'T YOU USE THAT ONE?
NO-NO-NO SIR, THAT'S ONLY A MINOR ACCESS POINT, YOU SEE.
NO, THIS IS A MUCH BIGGER ACCESS.
WE'LL OPEN IT UP AND GET RIGHT IN THERE TO THE...
OKAY MATE, CAN YOU PLEASE USE THE OTHER ACCESS POINT?
OH NO SIR, CAN'T USE THE OTHER ACCESS POINT, NO.
I-I COULD MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE.
HEYSER STREET MATE, QUICK AS YOU LIKE.
WHO ARE YOU? STRIPPER, FOR THE HEN PARTY, ONLY I LEFT THE BABY OIL
AND THE HELMET IN THE HOTEL ROOM.
HELMET?
FIREMAN... LOOK THEY BOOKED YOUR FOR THE DAY, YES?
YEAH.
SO THEY SAID YOU WOULDN'T MIND GOING BACK TO THE HOTEL.
COME ON MATE, I'VE GOT A DOZEN DRUNK WOMEN IN THERE
WAITING TO DO THINGS TO A GREASED UP FIREFIGHTER
THAT WOULD MAKE THEIR HUSBANDS FILE FOR DIVORCE.
YOU CAN GO IN THERE AND TELL THEM IT'S NOT
HAPPENING BUT I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND IT.
MOVE, COME ON.
WELL DONE DANNY, 50 QUID.
SO I GUESS I'M COOKING AND ALL THAT.
HELLO POLICE, OH THANK GOD, I'M AT MORTEN PLACE,
I'VE JUST SEEN SOMEONE WITH A GUN.
NO, I DON'T WANT TO GIVE MY NAME.
YOU HEAR THINGS, DON'T YOU?
YEAH, GANGSTERS AND ALL THAT.
YEAH, I GOT A GOOD LOOK AT HIM, BIG BLACK GEYSER,
IN ONE OF THEM STRETCH LIMO THINGS.
I GOT THE REGISTRATION IF THAT'S ANY HELP.
(police sirens)
IN THE VEHICLE, PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM.
GET DOWN ON THE GROUND PUT YOUR HANDS
ABOVE YOUR HEAD.
GET YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, DO IT!
IT'S BEEN AGES.
DO YOU THINK THEY'RE DRESSED YET?
OH, I HOPE SO, IT WAS NOT A PRETTY SITE.
WELL, THEY'VE HAD AN HOUR AN A HALF, MY GUESS
IS THEY'LL NEED A BACK UP AT ANY MOMENT.
(cell phone rings)
HELLO.
DANNY...
OKAY, I'LL BE THERE IN 15 MINUTES.
HE WANTS TO WORK THE BADGER.
IT'S A GOOD SIGN, SOLID.
(cell phone rings)
HELLO... MICK.
YEAH... WHERE ARE YOU?
WHERE?
OKAY, YEAH, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
MICKEY'S IN JAIL.
DOESN'T WANT TO PLAY FAIR, THAT'S FINE BY ME.
AT LEAST I KNOW WHERE I STAND.
OH, COME ON MICK, YOU DON'T KNOW FOR SURE IT WAS DANNY.
OKAY, SO IT WAS DANNY.
(sighs)
(Ash) YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS DO YOU?
NO-NO I DON'T, I'M-I'M A LOT OF THINGS, ASH,
BUT NAIVE IS NOT ONE OF THEM.
I'VE KNOWN ALBERT A LOT OF YEARS, HE DOESN'T DO
ANYTHING WITHOUT VERY GOOD REASON.
TRUE. YOU KNOW, I THINK, I THINK THIS IS ALBERT'S WAY
OF MOVING DANNY UP A STEP.
NAH.
WELL HE'S ALWAYS BEEN SORT OF FOND OF HIM.
ALBERT WAS THE ONE WHO BROUGHT HIM IN, REMEMBER.
THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT, YOU'RE WAY OFF THE MARK.
AM I?
YOU KNOW THE TRUTH IS, I ALWAYS KNEW THIS DAY
WOULD COME.
I TAKE OVER FROM ALBERT, DANNY TAKES OVER FROM ME.
IT'S WHAT ALBERT WAS SAYING, IN THE NATURAL
ORDER OF THINGS.
DANNY'S NOT READY TO LEAD HIS OWN CREW.
NO, NOT WITH ME BREATHING DOWN HIS NECK, BUT GIVE HIM
HIS HEAD, HE CAN BE SOMETHING SPECIAL.
WHY DO YOU WANT TO BEAT HIM SO MUCH ANYWAY?
YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND.
WELL, TRY ME.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA-ANY IDEA WHAT'S ITS LIKE FOR
A BLOKE LIKE ME TO BE A SUPPORTING ACT?
IT'S LIKE GETTING ROBBIE WILLIAMS TO WARM UP
A CROWD FOR THAT LITTLE OLD FAT ONE ON THE PIANO.
ELTON JOHN?
NO, OH GARY WHAT'S HIS BANANA'S, NO THE ONE
THAT WROTE ALL THE SONGS.
YEAH, BUT THEY HATED EACH OTHER, DIDN'T THEY?
YOU DON'T HATE, MICKEY.
HATE HIM, I BLEEDING I LOVE HIM, DON'T I.
AWW...
I'M SORRY SIR, THERE'S A QUID DOWN THERE.
ALL RIGHT MATE ALL RIGHT MATE, DON'T WORRY, KEEP IT.
DANNY?
WHEN I WAS WORKING THE STREET, ALL RIGHT, MAKING
A LIVING I USED TO DREAM OF THE DAY I'D BE WORKING FOR
THE GREAT MICKEY "BRICKS" AND HERE I AM.
THAT'S NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU NOW?
NO IT AIN'T, BECAUSE I WANT HIM TO RESPECT ME AS
AN EQUALND TO DO THAT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BEAT HIM.
MAYBE ALBERT'S RIGHT, THIS IS DANNY'S TIME.
OKAY, I'LL PLAY ALBERT'S GAME, THIS HENDERSON
CHALLENGE... BUT ON MY TERMS.
IF I LOSE, THEN I'LL KNOW IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON.
AH WELL, NOW YOU'RE GETTING ALL MORBID ON ME.
NO-NO-NO, I'M COOL, LIKE ANY GOOD GRIFTER.
LET'S SEE WHERE THE DICE FALL.
AND IF DANNY WINS, IT'S OVER?
YES.
(Stacie) YEAH, BUT IF YOU WIN YOU'LL BE LEADER.
I AIN'T GOING TO BE LEADER AM I, BECAUSE HE'S IS ALWAYS
GOING TO BE LEADER, WHAT I WANT IS, HIS RESPECT,
TO GET THAT I NEED TO PROVE MYSELF AND THIS IS THE ONE
CHANCE I'VE GOT TO DO IT.
BECAUSE NOBODY CAN BEAT ME WORKING THE SHORT CONS
ON THE STREET.
NO ONE, NOT MICKEY NOT ANYBODY.
AND WHEN I BEAT HIM, WHICH I WILL, I JUST THINK
WE'LL BE, YOU KNOW, CLOSER THAN EVER.
(Ash) YOU MEAN, YOU'D REALLY PACK IT ALL IN IF DANNY WINS.
THE WAY I SEE IT, THERE IS NO WAY I COULD STAY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, ASH, ONE LAST TIME?
SEE WHERE THE DICE WILL FALL.
IF WE LOSE, WE GO.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
LOVELY... HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT...
DO ME A FAVOR, MATE.
LET ME GET RID OF SOME OF THIS CHANGE, WILL YA.
GIVE ME A TENER FOR THAT.
BUT THERE'S ONLY NINE HERE.
ONLY NINE... OH OKAY, GIVE ME BACK THAT TWENTY I GIVE YA.
THERE'S ELEVEN, MAKES THAT TWENTY.
LOVELY SIR, HAVE A LOVELY DAY.
I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO NEED MORE THAN A TIE.
THE TIE'S NOT WHAT I WANT, IT'S THE BAG, OKAY.
OKAY, TAKE THIS, YOU GO STAND OVER THERE,
YOU'RE A SPANISH TOURIST LOOKING FOR SOMETHING,
I'LL POINT OUT THE MARK.
OFF YOU GO, GO ON.
UM... AH, CAN YOU HELP ME?
UH, TO MY STORE, IT'S NOT HERE.
AI, IT'S THERE, IT'S THERE, MUCHAS GRACIAS.
YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, THANK YOU FOR YOU
TOO HELP ME, GRACIAS.
WHAT D'YOU THINK?
DEFINITE IMPROVEMENT.
LET'S GO MAKE SOME MONEY.
(Ash) WH'S THE PLAN?
(Mickey) WELL, DANNY IS THE MASTER OF THE SHORT CON,
SO IF WE'RE GOING TO BEAT HIM I NEED TO DO
WHAT I DO BEST.
SO WHAT?
ONE BIG CON.
PROBABLY OUR BEST SHOT.
WHERE DO WE FIND A MARK?
I'VE GOT ONE I'VE BEEN SAVING FOR A RAINY DAY.
SO WHO DO YOU THINK'S GOING TO WIN, ALBERT?
(Albert) HARD TO SAY-HARD TO SAY.
BUT YOU TAUGHT MICKEY THOUGH DIDN'T YOU,
SO YOU MUST THINK HE'S GOT THE EDGE.
WELL HE'S HAD MORE EXPERIENCE, BUT DANNY'S
A NATURAL AND A SHORT CON PLAYER SO THAT SHOULD HELP.
LISTEN, THIS GRIFTIN' THING.
UH-HUH.
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD TEACH ANYONE?
LIKE WHO?
WELL YOU KNOW SOMEONE LIKE-SOMEONE LIKE ME
FOR INSTANCE.
YOU?
YEAH.
OKAY, LESSON ONE, GIVE ME 20.
20, THERE.
GOOD.
(clears throat) LESSON TWO TOMORROW.
(Danny) .... ?0 FOR THE EXTRAS, VERY IMAGINATIVE EXTRAS
THEY ARE TOO, THE OLD SECRETARY AND THE OLD...
WHERE YOU GOING, HERE-HERE.
RIGHT, YOU GO UP THERE, FIRST DOOR ON THE LEFT
GET YOURSELF NICE AND FRESHENED UP, SHE'LL BE
UP IN FIVE MINUTES.
DANNY?
ARE YOU PIMPING ON MY PATCH, SCUMBAG?
NO.
I'M A POLICEMAN, PROSTITUTION UNIT.
YOU AIN'T NO POLICEMEN.
YEAH, HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT THEN?
CAUSE THAT'S A STORE CARD FROM BURTON'S.
YEAH, HUH...
WELL, IF I AIN'T A POLICEMAN, MATE,
HOW COME I GOT A BIG HELICOPTER UP THERE, EH?
DANNY, THOSE HOOKERS WERE LOOKING TO HURT ME.
DON'T WORRY, THEY CHARGE EXTRA FOR THAT.
COME ON...
(Mickey) WHAT I NEED TO HOOK THIS MARK IS A MOVIE STAMP.
WHO'S THE BEST MAN?
SHORT NOTICE... PINKY WISEMAN.
AH, YEAH, PINKY, OKAY I'LL GO SEE HIM.
YOU FIND A HOTEL SET UP A CALL, OKAY.
THIS MARK LOVES THE DEAL, SO THE FACT WE HAVEN'T GOT
MUCH TIME SHOULD WORK IN OUR FAVOR.
DO YOU-DO YOU UH, THINK THIS STAMP THING'S GOING TO WORK?
HE WON'T BE ABLE TO RESIST IT.
THERE'S THE LADY THERE, HAVE A LITTLE LOOK...
IN YOUR POCKET...
PINKY.
PUT YOUR MONEY OUT.
HERE WE GO...
ALL RIGHT-ALL RIGHT.
FIND THAT LOVELY QUEEN.
OKAY.
THANKS, SEE YOU THEN.
DANNY-DANNY!
(all talking)
GOOD DAY, BEEN LOVELY SEEING YOU.
MICK, ASH HERE, I FOUND ONE, SHE'S WAITING FOR YOU
TO CALL, BUT WE NEED TO GET YOU AN OFFICE.
(talking)
(woman in office) TWO POSSIBLY FOUR, IT REALLY DEPENDS ON HOW
WE GET GOING WITH IT.
(sounds of office)
NIGELA PENNING, PLEASE.
HELLO NIGELA, ALAN MORRIS, I UNDERSTAND YOU'VE JUST
BEEN SPEAKING TO A COLLEAGUE OF MINE.
??
YEAH, WE WOULD HAVE LASTED A BIT LONGER IF YOU HADN'T
STARTED OPENING ACCOUNTS FOR PEOPLE.
YOU KNOW ME SWEETIE, I NEVER KNOW WHEN TO STOP, DO I?
SO WHAT'S NEXT... KNOCK DOWN, GINGER?
NO, GO PICK UP MY SUIT.
AH, DANNY MY FEET ARE KILLIN' ME.
YOU'VE HAD THEM ON ALL DAY.
YEAH, I THOUGHT...
STOP IT, VERY UNATTRACTIVE.
WHAT'S THAT?
SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
RELAX.
IT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU THAT WE HAVEN'T ACTUALLY
MADE ANY MONEY YET?
AH, YOU KNOW YOUR TROUBLE, ASH?
WHAT'S THAT?
YOU WORRY TOO MUCH.
YEAH, WELL ONE OF US HAS TO.
OKAY, ANOTHER DIVERSION.
WHERE?
CAPTAIN BIRDSEYE, OVER THERE.
OH.
ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT?
I'LL SHOW YOU AS SOON AS WE FIND A BOAT.
A BOAT?
THE HOTEL IS PERFECT, THERE'S A WINE BAR OPPOSITE,
SO YOU CAN DO YOUR BUSINESS THERE, OUT OF THE WAY.
PINKY WILL HAVE THE STAMP READY BY 5:30.
PUSHING IT A BIT, ISN'T IT?
MAKES IT MORE FUN.
STARTING TO ENJOY THIS AREN'T YOU?
I'LL TELL YOU AT FIVE PAST SIX.
WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
THAT.
THAT'S NOT A TOURIST BOAT.
YEAH WELL... IT IS NOW.
COME ON THEN, LET'S BE HAVING YA, YOUR VERY OWN CRUISE
DOWN THE RIVER THAMES.
WE'RE GOING TO STOP OFF AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE AND MEET
THE QUEEN FOR TEA.
YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS.
DEADLY SERIOUS, I LOVE IT, 20 QUID A FLOAT.
WELL WHAT IF THE OWNER TURNS UP?
OH YOU BETTER GET TO LOOKING OUT THEN HADN'T YA.
COME CRUISE WITH ME THROUGH OLD SCARY LONDON.
SEE WHERE THE RIPPER STRUCK, WHERE HE SENDS THE LADIES
OF THE NIGHT, TO A WATERY GRAVE.
I'VE GOT A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE IN THERE
AND A NICE COCKTAIL GLASS FOR THE FIRST 20 CUSTOMERS,
AND A FULL BUFFET ON BOARD.
YOU MISS THIS DARLING, YOU MISS THE LAST BUS HOME.
YOU WAVE AT PRINCE CHARLES, HIM AND CAMILLA,
STROLL HAND IN HAND ALONG THE THAMES AND FOR AN
EXTRA FIVE, HE WILL BLOW YOU A KISS.
(screams)
20 QUID EACH, FREE SUSHI.
PRINCE CHARLES?
PRINCE CHARLES.
PRINCE CHARLES DOWN THE RIVER.
YOU GOT ?60, THAT'S NINE OF THOSE PURPLE ONES.
THAT'LL DO, COME ON DOWN.
HOW ABOUT YOU, SIR?
YOU HAVE THE CRUISE?
YES, SIR WE HAVE THE CRUISE-WE HAVE THE CRUISE.
AND WE HAVE AS MUCH SAUERKRAUT AS YOU WANT.
I GOT SIGNED PICTURES OF ROBBIE WILLIAMS.
I GOT A LOVELY NICE PICTURE FRAMED OF HIS...
(Eddie) THAT'S VERY GOOD.
HUH?
THAT 20 QUID THING.
THANK YOU.
SO WHAT ABOUT LESSON TWO, THEN.
JUST TO WARN YA, I'M NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THE SAME TRICK.
OH, I WOULDN'T EXPECT YOU TOO.
IN FACT HERE'S YOUR 20 BACK.
NOW JUST TO MAKE UP FOR THE LAST TIME,
I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU
THE DOUBLE NOTE CON.
BUT YOU MUSTN'T REPEAT TO ANYONE OUTSIDE
THE GRIFTER COMMUNITY.
I WOULDN'T.
I'LL NEED TWO NOTES.
THANKS.
YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN HAVEN'T YOU?
UH-HUH.
UNBELIEVABLE, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THIS CRUISE
THING'S A FLAMING GOLD MINE.
IF YOU OWNED A BOAT.
IT'S ALL FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, WE ARE THREE GRAND
TO THE GOOD, ADD THAT TO WHAT WE'VE ALREADY GOT,
NO WAY HE'S GOT US BEAT.
FOR ONCE, I THINK YOUR PROBABLY RIGHT.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIS FACE, WHAT DO YOU THINK
HE'S DOING RIGHT NOW?
MY GUESS IS MICKEY WILL STICK TO WHAT HE KNOWS,
WHAT HE'S BEST AT.
THE LONG CON?
MAKES SENSE.
NO WAY, THERE'S NO WAY HE'S GOING TO FIND A MARK,
HOOK HIM AND CLOSE IN SIX HOURS.
THIS IS MICKEY "BRICKS" WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
BETTER CHECK ON PINKY.
NO-NO, HE'LL BE FINE.
TIME TO CHECK ON DANNY, SEE HOW HE'S DOING.
SO YOU RECKON IN ONE DAY HE'S GONNA WIPE ME OUT.
THAT'S WHERE MY MONEY WOULD BE.
(cell phone rings)
HELLO... MICKEY, YEAH, HE'S RIGHT HERE.
OKAY, I'LL ASK HIM.
HE SAYS, HE AND ASH ARE RELAXING AND WONDERED
WHETHER YOU LIKE TO JOIN THEM IF YOU'RE NOT TOO BUSY?
RELAXIN'?
TELL HIM, WE'RE RELAXING TOO.
HE SAID, WE'RE RELAXING TOO.
ON ACCOUNT OF WE GOT SO MUCH MONEY AND WE
CAN'T CARRY IT.
I GUESS YOU HEARD.
LOOKING FOR A WHEELBARROW.
OKAY, I'LL TELL HIM.
THEY'RE IN A WINE BAR, ABOUT A MILE AWAY.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
THIS IS YOUR GAME DANNY, I'M JUST AN OBSERVER.
OKAY, HE'S CHECKING UP ON ME.
HE WANTS TO SEE WHAT I'M DOING, HE WANTS TO KNOW
WHAT HE'S UP AGAINST.
MOST LIKELY.
LET'S NOT DISAPPOINT HIM THEN.
(Danny) OH, OH WHAT A BLIMEY DAY, AN ABSOLUTELY BLIMEY DAY,
SMASHING IN FACT, I'D SAY WE MUST HAVE
DOUBLE WHAT YOU GOT.
THAT MUCH?
YEAH, SO HOW MUCH YOU GOTTEN.
NOTHING.
NOTHING?
YET.
WOW, HAVEN'T GOT MUCH TIME LEFT HAVE YOU MICKEY.
WELL I'VE GOT ENOUGH TO BEAT YOU, THAT IS.
IN YOUR DREAMS, SUNSHINE, CAUSE I'VE DONE FIVE GRAND EASY.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST ADMIT IT, MICK, ADMIT THIS TIME
I'VE GOT YOU BEAT.
IF YOU SAY SO.
THERE-THERE-THERE, SEE WHAT HE'S DOING.
YOU-YOU-YOU-YOU, OUTSMARTED ME THINKING
I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW STUFF.
YOU CAN'T KID A KIDDER, MICKEY BOY.
WELL YOU SEE, WHILE YOU'VE BEEN RUNNING AROUND LIKE
A HEADLESS CHICKEN I'VE SIMPLY BEEN SITTING HERE
WITH A DRINK, WAITING FOR THE BIG ONE.
THE BIG ONE?
UH-HUH.
YOU'RE BLUFFING.
OKAY, I'M BLUFFING.
(Ash) AH, MICK.
AH, SORRY WE HAVE TO GO.
I'LL GET THIS.
NO, I'LL GET IT.
AFTER ALL, I HAVE GOT MORE MONEY THEN YOU.
I INSIST.
ACTUALLY SO DO I.
I'LL FLIP YOU FOR IT.
TAILS.
TAILS IT IS... YOU WIN.
GUESS I DO.
HEY-HEY, WHYON'T YOU KEEP THIS, AFTER ALL YOUR
NEED IS GREATER THAN MINE.
COME ON, ASH.
HE'S BLUFFING.
I WANT TO FOLLOW HIM.
WHAT YOU THINK?
I THINK PUTTING ALL OUR EGGS IN ONE BASKET MAY
HAVE BEEN A BAD IDEA.
NOW HE TELLS ME.
ANYWAY THERE'S NOT MUCH TIME,
LET'S REEL IN THIS MARK.
WHERE ARE WE DOING?
SPYING.
WOULDN'T WE BE BETTER JUST GRIFTING SOME MORE MONEY?
HE'S UP TO SOMETHING.
OF COURSE HE'S UP TO SOMETHING,
THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA.
YEAH, BUT WHAT THOUGH?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHO'S SHE?
I HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE.
SHE MUST BE A MARK, WHAT'S HE DOING?
WHAT'S IN THAT CASE?
(Stacie) THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
RUN, FOLLOW ASH, SEE WHERE HE'S GOING.
WHAT? JUST DO IT, YEAH, PHONE ME WHEN YOU KNOW.
HI.
SIR.
THAT'S UM, THAT BIRD THE ONE THAT WALKED OVER WITH
THE BLACK GEYSER, DO YOU KNOW WHO SHE IS?
ARE YOU A GUEST, SIR?
A MISS PENNING, SIR.
PENNING?
I BELIEVE SO.
WHAT'S SHE DOING, DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DOES?
I UNDERSTAND SHE'S A PHILATELIST SIR.
SHE-SHE'S A PHILPHIL--
SHE COLLECT STAMPS, SIR.
YEAH, I KNEW THAT.
(cell phone rings)
STACE, WHERE ARE YOU?
I'M IN A TAXI, OUTSIDE MARKS SHOP.
OKAY, WHAT'S HE UP TO?
WE CAN'T RUN OUT OF TIME.
OKAY, SO ASH JUST BOUGHT A PORTFOLIO CASE FOR MICKEY.
PORTFOLIO CASE.
OKAY, THAT'S GOT TO BE FOR THE STAMPS.
PORTFOLIO, STAMPS-PORTFOLIO STAMPS.
THINK-THINK-THINK.
IF MICKEY WAS LOOKING FOR A MOVIE STAMP,
WHERE WOULD HE GO.
YES-YES.
RIGHT, LISTEN.
FORGET ASH, OKAY MEET ME THERE.
IT'S SHUT... WHAT?
(banging on door)
PINKY-PINKY, IT'S DANNY-DANNY BLUE.
HE'S NOT THERE.
WHERE ELSE WOULD HE BE?
(Cantor singing)
LET ME HANDLE THIS.
WELL, AS I'VE GOT NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING,
BE MY GUEST.
EXCUSE ME.
PINKY, THAT LITTLE DEAL YOU DID WITH MICKEY I'VE
JUST COME TO PICK UP.
NOT NOW, THE SERVICE IS ABOUT TO START.
IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT, PINKY.
BUSINESS IS FORBIDDEN IN THE SYNAGOGUE.
IT'S NOT BUSINESS IS IT, BECAUSE YOU'VE ALREADY
DONE THE DEAL, I'M JUST DOING THE PICKUP.
MICKEY SAID MR. MORGAN WAS COMING.
WHAT ASH... HE'S BEEN HELD UP.
MICKEY TOLD ME DEFINITELY, I WAS TO WAIT FOR MR. MORGAN.
YEAH, THAT'S THE PROBLEM YOU SEE THERE'S BEEN
A CHANGE OF PLAN.
I'M PICKING IT UP.
DID YOU BRING THE MONEY?
OF COURSE I BROUGHT YOU'RE MONEY, PINKY.
QUICKLY THEN.
DO YOU HAVE A MIND IF I LOOK.
MR. BLUE, NO...
THE SERVICE IS ABOUT TO START.
I'LL BE QUICK.
WHAT IS IT?
IT'S A... 1994.
YEAH, DID IT TAKE YOU LONG TO KNOCK IT OUT?
I DON'T KNOCK THINGS OUT, I'M AN ARTIST.
OF COURSE YOU ARE, PINKY.
SO WHAT'S SOMETHING LIKE THAT WORTH THEN?
TO THE RIGHT BUYER, 20 GRAND.
HOW MUCH DID MICKEY SAY HE'D GIVE YOU.
DON'T YOU KNOW?
I FORGOT.
3,000.
THREE GRAND!
I'LL GIVE YOU TWO.
I'LL WAIT FOR MR. MORGAN.
ALL RIGHT-ALL RIGHT-ALL RIGHT.
HERE'S TWO.
DON'T SPEND IT ALL AT ONCE.
TAXI!
OH DANNY, QUICK.
YES, I GOT HIM.
HA-HA.
LESSON THREE.
NO THANKS.
HOW ABOUT A WAGER?
ON WHAT?
I'LL BET YOU 10, THAT I CAN OPEN THIS DECK
OF CARDS MAKE THE JACK OF HEARTS LEAP OUT AND PUT???
ALL RIGHT, GOT TO GET RID OF MICKEY SO I CAN GET TO THE MARK.
HOW?
I DON'T KNOW, WE'VE GOT TEN MINUTES.
WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST GO BACK.
MICKEY CAN'T COLLECT ON HIS CON WHICH MEANS
YOU'VE PROBABLY BEATEN--
NO, THE PROBABLY IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
OH LOOK.
YES-YES.
THAT'S ASH, TELLING HIM WE GOT TO PINKY FIRST.
GO-GO-GO NOW.
ALL RIGHT LISTEN, KEEP YOUR ENGINE RUNNING, SON.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
DO I KNOW YOU?
NOT YET, YOU DON'T, NO.
I UNDERSTAND YOU'VE BEEN DEALING WITH A COLLEAGUE OF MINE.
I'M SORRY? MY COLLEAGUE, HE'S JUST TAKEN A CALL.
MR. MORRIS?
THAT'S IT, MR. MORRIS.
MR. MORRIS IS TALKING A CALL HE WON'T BE COMING BACK.
HE'S ASKED ME TO FILL IN AND TAKE OVER THE TRANSACTION.
I SEE.
GREAT, OKAY, HERE SHE IS.
OH DEAR, ARE YOU EXCITED, YOU LOOK IT, YOU SHOULD BE.
OKAY, SORRY, I HAVEN'T GOT THE LEATHER PORTFOLIO
CASE THING... THAT'S ALL FOR SHOW AIN'T IT.
HERE SHE IS, BEAUTIFUL ISN'T IT, RIGHT.
LISTEN, I WAS THINKING, MAYBE AFTER THIS,
WE COULD GO FOR SOMETHING TO EAT?
I KNOW THIS QUIET LITTLE PLACE, CHINESE, ALL YOU
CAN EAT FOR 15 QUID.
WHAT IS IT?
SORT OF A BUFFET STYLE.
THIS.
A STAMP.
I CAN SEE THAT, WHAT'S IT FOR?
OH, IT'S FOR YOU, IT'S THAT STAMP THING YOU
ORDERED OFF MY COLLEAGUE, MR. MORRIS.
I'M-I'M REALLY NOT WITH YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU ORDERED A STAMP, THIS STAMP, I'M DELIVERING IT,
AND COLLECTING THE MONEY.
I'M SORRY, I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
OKAY, YOU COLLECT STAMPS.
NO, I DON'T.
YEAH YOU DO, YOU'RE A PHILLY-TILLEY THING, AIN'T YA?
WHAT EVER GAVE YOU THAT IDEA.
CAUSE YOU GOT A DEAL WITH MR. MORRIS.
I'M SELLING HIM AIR CONDITIONING UNITS.
WHAT?
ONE BIG CON?
PROBABLY OUR BEST SHOT.
SO WHERE DO WE FIND OUR MARK?
WELL, I'VE GOT ONE I'VE BEEN SAVING FOR A RAINY DAY.
YEAH, WHO?
DANNY.
PINKY, I NEED A FAVOR, A STAMP, IN THREE HOURS.
MICK, YEAH OKAY, I FOUND ONE, AIR CONDITIONING.
THE REGIONAL SALES DIRECTOR IS CALLED, NIGELA PENNING.
NIGELA PENNING, PLEASE.
HELLO NIGELA, ALAN MORRIS.
I UNDERSTAND YOU'VE JUST BEEN SPEAKING TO
A COLLEAGUE OF MINE.
YES, ABOUT THE CONTRACT FOR THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE IN 2012.
YEAH-YEAH, I KNOW IT IN FACT THERE'S A VERY NICE
WINE BAR OPPOSITE, WHY DON'T WE MEET THERE?
OKAY, SEE YOU THEN.
HELLO, I'M LOOKING FOR ONE OF YOUR GUESTS,
A MISS PENNING.
(doorman) I'M SURE THE RECEPTION DESK CAN HELP YOU, SIR.
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
SPYING.
SHE'S A PHILATELIST, WE'RE GOING TO A STAMP AUCTION.
REALLY SIR, WELL IF YOU ASK 'EM AT THE DESK
THEY'LL PUT A CALL THROUGH TO HER ROOM.
OH NO NEED, THERE SHE IS.
NIGELA.
YES. ALAN MORRIS, I SPOKE TO YOU EARLIER.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
HOW DID YOU KNOW WHO I WAS?
YOU HAVE THE LOOK OF A REGIONAL SALES DIRECTOR.
SHALL WE STEP OVER THE ROAD AND DISCUSS THE CONTRACT?
YES, OF COURSE I BROUGHT SOME SPECS WITH ME.
I'LL JUST SPEAK WITH MY ASSISTANT AND THEN...
IS PINKY SET UP?
YEP. OKAY, PICK ME UP WHEN YOU'RE DONE.
DANNY, QUICK.
YES!
ALL RIGHT, SIR THERE YOU GO.
I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT.
NAH, YOU DON'T-YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
(Ash) COME ON, MICK!
(Stacey) DANNY!
SEE YOU NEVER HAVE A PROPER BET, DO YA?
ONE WITH A 50-50 CHANCE.
ALL RIGHT-ALL RIGHT-ALL RIGHT.
MICKEY AND DANNY ARE TO RETURN TO
THE APARTMENT AT 6:00, YES?
YEAH.
WE HAVE NO IDEA WHO'LL GET BACK FIRST HUH.
I'LL BET YOU 50 ON WHO'S THE FIRST
TO CROSS THE THRESHOLD.
AH, I DON'T KNOW.
YOU SAID YOU WANTED A 50-50 CHANCE THAT'S
WHAT YOU WANTED.
THE FIRST ONE IN.
YEAH.
OKAY.
I PICK MICKEY.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO AND MEET THEM.
HA-HA, YES!
MICHAEL-MICHAEL.
WAIT LADIES FIRST-LADIES FIRST.
OH, THAT LYING, CHEATING, DOUBLE CROSSING...
I LD YOU NOT TO GET INVOLVED BUT COULDN'T
LEAVE IT, COULD YOU.
WELL THAT'S NOT THE POINT IS IT?
ALL RIGHT, ANYWAY I MIGHT STILL HAVE WON THE DAY.
(Albert) I TAKE IT YOU'VE HAD A SUCCESSFUL DAY.
(Danny) YEAH, IT WAS LOVELY, THANKS ALBERT APART FROM THE LAST
TEN MINUTES WHEN THIS LITTLE... STARTED PLAYING DIRTY.
IS HE STILL MOANING?
NO, I'M JUST SAYING SOME OF US LIKE TO PLAY
FAIR THAT'S ALL.
IT'S NOT THE WAY YOU START DANNY, IT'S THE WAY YOU FINISH.
(Albert) WHAT HAPPENED?
MICKEY CONNED DANNY.
YEAH, I WAS HIS BLEEDING MARK.
(laughing)
IMAGINATIVE.
REALLY.
DID NIGELA TRY TO SELL YOU ANY AIR CONDITIONING UNITS OR...
VERY FUNNY, MICKEY.
I KNEW YOU'D FOLLOW ME.
YEAH, WELL I STILL BEAT YA.
NO-NO-NO, YOU HAD FIVE AND I TOOK THREE OFF YOU.
OH WELL, MAYBE I LIED ABOUT THE FIVE,
THERE'S THIS.
(Stacie) LET'S HAVE A LITTLE TALLY SHALL WE?
MICK?
LOOK, WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT.
THAT WAS JUST YOU AND ME, RIGHT, I SAY WE FORGET IT.
I STAND BY WHAT I SAID.
IF I'M BEING HONEST MAN, I THINK HE'S GOT US BEAT.
THEN SO BE IT.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.
STACIE TOTAL UP.
UNBELIEVABLE.
WHOA, WHAT.
WE KNEW IT WOULD BE CLOSE.
HOW CLOSE?
MICKEY... 3,211 AND 50 PENCE.
DANNY... 3,212 POUNDS.
OH MY SON, BACK TO THE NET.
(singing) DANNY, GO-GO-GO YOU ARE THE MAN.
CHEERS MATE.
REALLY WELL PLAYED, DANNY.
YEAH IT WAS.
LISTEN MICK--
I HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING.
MICK--
NO ASH.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
(Ah) MICK, LISTEN. NO PLEASE-PLEASE AND UH--
(Ash) YOU HAVEN'T LOST.
NO, IF YOU WANT TO BACK OUT--
NO, TOP POCKET OF YOUR SUIT.
WHY DON'T YOU KEEP THIS,
AFTER ALL, YOUR NEED
IS GREATER THAN MINE.
THAT'S MINE, I GAVE IT TOO HIM.
WELL, IF YOU GAVE IT TOO HIM, IT'S HIS.
(Danny) YOU'RE JOKING.
SO MICKEY IS THE WINNER OF THE HENDERSON CHALLENGE.
SO WHAT YOU RECKON, SHALL WE-SHALL WE STICK AROUND
A LITTLE BIT LONGER, THAN?
WHY NOT.
SEE, YOU MEAN I'VE LOST FROM 50 P AND MY
BLOODY 50 P AT THAT?
(Stacie) WELL THAT'LL TEACH YOU A FLUSH THEN WON'T YA.
"YOU'RE NEED IS GREATER THAN MINE.'
I LIKE YOU BEING THE LEADER ANYWAY.
OH YEAH, RIGHT.
OH NO-NO-NO, HE WAS.
DANNY, WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM WHAT YOU TOLD ME.
NO, I'M NOT GONNA TELL HIM, STACE.
(Ash) NO-NO-NO, GO ON WHAT?
YOU CAN TELL HIM, STACIE.
HE SAID THAT HE LOVED YOU.
(Ash) AWW...
WELL, YOU KNOW, AS A GRIFTER.
FOR WHAT'S IT'S WORTH DANNY, I LOVE YOU TOO.
YEAH?
AWW...
SWEET.
SO ALBIE, YOU GOING TO TELL THEM NOW OR SHALL I.
TELL US WHAT?
(Ash) YEAH, I THINK YOU SHOULD.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WELL I MUST TO ADMIT TO A DEGREE
OF MISREPRESENTATION.
HOW SO?
WELL YOU'RE TWO VERY TALENTED YOUNG MEN,
AND I HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF AFFECTION FOR YOU BOTH.
SO WHAT STARTED OUT AS A FRIVOLOUS WAGER TURNED INTO,
AT LEAST I HOPE IT DID, TO A VALUABLE LESSON.
YOU MUST RECOGNIZE EACH OTHERS STRENGTHS AND NOT
BE THREATENED BY THEM.
HENCE, THE HENDERSON CHALLENGE.
WHAT ABOUT IT?
IT NEVER HAPPENED.
THERE NEVER WAS A HENDERSON OR A DEVLIN--
NOT IN NEW YORK OR ANYWHERE ELSE.
I-I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
(Stacie) ALBIE, I THINK YOU SHOULD COME CLEAN.
(play piano) A DRINK.
MM... FROZEN MARGARITA'S.
NO ICE.
SHOP ON THE CORNER SELLS BAGS.
OKAY, COME ON THEN.
HOW ABOUT A FRIENDLY GAME OF BLACKJACK?
(Ash) SO SUCH THING WITH YOU ALBERT.
THREE CARD.
ALBERT, NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY WITH YOU
CAUSE YOU CHEAT.
I'LL ARM WRESTLE YOU.
NOW YOU'RE DESPERATE.
OH, JUST A LITTLE ACTION, I MEAN SOMETHING
TO PASS THE TIME.
HOW ABOUT A WAGER?
OH YEAH, WHAT SORT OF WAGER?
?00 SAYS I CAN PLACE A COIN BENEATH THE GLASS
AND THEN REMOVE IT WITHOUT TOUCHING THE GLASS.
SEEN IT.
?00 SAYS, I CAN DO A HANDSTAND AND BALANCE TWO
BRANDY GLASSES ON THE SOLES OF MY SHOES.
NO-NO-NO, WE ALL KNOW BETTER THAN TO BET
WITH YOU ALBERT.
WELL NOW WAIT, THIS IS A VERY INTERESTING CHALLENGE.
WE'RE NOT PLAYING WITH YOU, ALBERT.
LISTEN, ?00 SAYS I CAN GET MICHAEL AND DANNY
IN THE CENTER OF LONDON, AS NAKED AS THE DAY THEY
WE'RE BORN, BY 12:00 NOON, HMM.
OH MY GOD, GENIUS.
(all laughing)
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS, YOU SET US UP.
THIS WAS ABOUT.
MICHAEL- MICHAEL I KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT,
I'M AFRAID YOU'RE EDUCATION HAS A WHILE TO RUN YET.
GRIFTING IS A SWEET ART OF THE CON.
BUT THE SWEETEST CON OF ALL IS TO CON ANOTHER
GRIFTER, SOMEONE WHO SHOULD KNOW BETTER.
(Danny) SO I GOT CONNED TWICE.
(Mickey) DANNY-DANNY AND I MEAN NO ONE COULD
HAVE HUSTLED WHAT YOU HUSTLED TODAY.
AND I KNEW THAT, THAT'S WHY I HAD TO DO WHAT
I DID, IS THE ONLY WAY I COULD WIN.
YOU'RE RIGHT MATE, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, BUT WHAT
YOU DID WAS BRILLIANT IT WAS BETTER THAN BRILLIANT.
IT WAS GENIUS.
(Stacie) OH, MAKING UP.
IF YOU WANT TO BE LEADER FOR AWHILE, GO AHEAD.
YEAH.
DANNY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. DANNY.
AH, RIGHT, FIRST THINGS FIRST,
SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS.
DANNY.
ALL RIGHT LISTEN, I LIKE BEING EXACTLY WHERE I AM,
SO GO AHEAD CAPTAIN.
(cell phone rings)
HELLO, YES PETER...
WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW MORNING, 10:30.
RIGHT.
THE MARK HAS THE MONEY.
YEAH.
COME ON THEN, DRINKS.
WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON, THIS IS MY BOAT.
(Danny) NOW OVER THERE... YEAH THERE.
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